A pleasing mix of research, advice, and humor, this book is a useful tonic to a key social ailment.

PLATONIC

HOW THE SCIENCE OF ATTACHMENT CAN HELP YOU MAKE—AND KEEP—FRIENDS

A remarkable examination of the epidemic of loneliness and sound advice for alleviating it.

In this articulate, informative book, Franco, a psychology professor at the University of Maryland, notes that the number of friends that most people have is lower than ever before (sometimes zero), and these circumstances lead to numerous deleterious effects on our mental and physical health. “Out of 106 factors that influence depression, having a confidante is the most powerful,” she writes. “Loneliness is more fatal than a poor diet or lack of exercise, as corrosive as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. Friendship literally saves our lives.” The author identifies work pressure as a central culprit, but also to blame is the widespread view that relationships should only focus on sex and romantic love. Many people have simply forgotten how to make and keep friends, and Franco provides a wealth of useful advice on the subject. Starting a friendship requires taking initiative, which can mean accepting vulnerability and the risk of rejection. “People think tiny acts, like saying hello, can’t have colossal consequences for their life,” she writes. “But they can. One hello can be the difference between being lonely and finding your best friend.” Having common interests is always a good place to start. Making friends with people across racial, social, and political boundaries is also important, but there has to be a set of shared values. Cultivating and maintaining a friendship requires an investment of time and energy, and both sides have to know the boundaries. Franco covers a great deal of ground, although one area she does not explore in depth is social media. Are Facebook friends, for example, really friends? Is Instagram a help or a hindrance? That is a big subject deserving a book of its own, and maybe Franco will address it in a subsequent volume. Until then, this one offers many fascinating insights.

A pleasing mix of research, advice, and humor, this book is a useful tonic to a key social ailment.

Pub Date: Sept. 6, 2022

ISBN: 978-0-593-33189-7

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Putnam

Review Posted Online: June 17, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2022

Did you like this book?

No Comments Yet

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power.

Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire (Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia). We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. This power game can be played well or poorly, and in these 48 laws culled from the history and wisdom of the world’s greatest power players are the rules that must be followed to win. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible. Each law, however, gets its own chapter: “Conceal Your Intentions,” “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” “Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy,” and so on. Each chapter is conveniently broken down into sections on what happened to those who transgressed or observed the particular law, the key elements in this law, and ways to defensively reverse this law when it’s used against you. Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. While compelling in the way an auto accident might be, the book is simply nonsense. Rules often contradict each other. We are told, for instance, to “be conspicuous at all cost,” then told to “behave like others.” More seriously, Greene never really defines “power,” and he merely asserts, rather than offers evidence for, the Hobbesian world of all against all in which he insists we live. The world may be like this at times, but often it isn’t. To ask why this is so would be a far more useful project.

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

Pub Date: Sept. 1, 1998

ISBN: 0-670-88146-5

Page Count: 430

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: May 20, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 1998

Did you like this book?

Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...

THINKING, FAST AND SLOW

A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.

The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.

Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011

ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1

Page Count: 512

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: Sept. 4, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011

Did you like this book?

more